So this morning bright and early of course the devil was at play again. Trying to stop me from blogging in an attempt to serve God. So anyhow I decided to give it all to God and have faith and then a friend show me a quote she got from an app on facebook and it was powerful and good news. Then I went to my notifications and got an invite to join a network blog. So I was intrigued and I joined. The name of the blog is “Say No to Married Men.” I smirked a little and went on to see what it was about, and to my surprise I saw a comment from a follower that pretty much stated that sometimes its different because the (in her words) ass hole don’t tell you he is married and then you find out that they all are. That automatically told me two things:
- This woman has dated a married man before and of course was hurt by him.
- That she also somehow is attracted to married men because she said all and not he, since it was plural and not singular.
So then I asked my husband did he think it was possible to date a married man and not know until too late in the relationship or until you do some digging? He said he didn’t know for sure but he didn’t think so.
Here’s what I think and I could be wrong because I have never dated a married man before. The only one I have is my husband and that’s because he is my married man. Here are my reasons why I think you would know.
- His time is very limited that he can spend with you ( I know what you are gonna say, well maybe he has a busy job, well so does my husband, sometimes he works late nights and weekends but I can always reach him at his job or on his cell at those times also. The fact that he is working late does not mean you should not be able to reach him, heck even a doctor is reachable I don’t know a profession that at any point the person is completely unreachable when they work.)
- You are not allowed to visit his job. If you can’t just drop by with a lunch basket for him or swing by if you are in the area or anything like that something is up. (I am aware of some professions that this does not apply so if he is one of those professions then this does not apply to you)
- You can’t call him at any time of the night. This is a big indication to me that something is going on. If you are dating a man and something happened to you and you needed him to be there for you in any type of way, (unless he is working and sometimes even then you can get him to come to your side) if he can’t answer his cell phone whenever you call then you should be digging deeper. Oh and don’t believe he is a hard sleeper. I know someone who hides their cell phone in the car when he is home with his woman so none of the others can reach him. So get wise and think smart.
- He don’t take you around his friends at all or often. I know this one may take time in the relationship for it to happen but a reluctance to introduce you to friends is another indicator of something being hidden.
- He don’t take you around his family. Again I know this may take time and it could be tough when he doesn’t live near them but if you can’t talk to them on the phone or go for dinner or even mention his family at all, run away as fast as you can from that relationship because you are shorting your own self. Even if he is not close to his own family (which I know someone can think of a reason why, trust me he has someone close to him that is like family, we all do.)
- You can’t see him on holidays. I know some professions may make this impossible. My sister is a Corrections Officer and there have been a few Christmases that we didn’t see her first thing in the morning so I am aware that could be it, but its rare that on every holiday this person will have to work. Its set up that sometimes you work and sometimes you don’t.
- You can’t celebrate birthdays together. If you are dating a man and you can’t see him on his birthday to help him celebrate then something may be up. Now he could be smart and say he has to work and you have to celebrate early and then you will never know, if that’s the case call him at 12:01 AM to wish him a Happy Birthday, say you wanted to be the first to tell him. If he is unreachable at late hours its because he is probably with someone else.
- This is the last reason I will post that I think is a sign a man could be married. You can’t go to his house. If you can’t visit him house often that could be a sign. Yes he could live with his mother, but come on if a man is living with his mother and he is grown obliviously he don’t have any shame at all. I don’t think that would be a reason for him to not take you by there. Plus it would kill two birds, you visit mom and see his room or basement.
Those are my reasons that I thought of. I know that you can find a reason to justify them all but I know for me if I saw those signs and I was dating someone it would make me think about it. None of this is directed to young adults. I am not talking about your college sweetie or high school boo. This is about mature relationships. But I said a mouthful. I want to know what other people think. Can you date a married man and never know he was married? Or is the ugly truth that you know he is married and you are too afraid to find out so that you can face those facts. I hope someone answers.