Husband Tip

Carrying Charge

Live with your wives in an understanding way, as with someone weaker, since she is a woman.
1 Peter 3:7

Each fall, a ski resort in Maine hosts an event that is little known to the rest of the nation: the North American Wife Carrying Championship. To compete, husbands transport their wives through a hilly, 278-yard obstacle course that includes a 20-foot trough of water and 2 log hurdles. They can carry their wives in whatever way suits their running style–piggyback, fireman’s carry or the more popular “Estonian” method, with the wife upside down across his back, legs crossed around his neck, arms held around his waist. The only enforceable rule is that she not touch the ground.

Ex-Olympians are sometimes among the contestants, while others are probably just there hoping for the first prize: the wife’s weight in beer, plus five times her weight in cash and a thousand-dollar voucher toward a trip to the World Wife-Carrying Championship in Finland. (I’m serious.)

Admittedly, this event sounds a bit crude and primitive. But there is nothing archaic about a wife needing her husband to carry her sometimes–to be her strength during a tough stretch of circumstances, to stand with her in prayer, to be the broad shoulders she leans on when life gets heavy.

Yes, I’ve “dropped” Barbara a few times over the years. But I’ve had the privilege of shouldering her load in life-and-death health issues, a teenager’s rebellion and dozens of those pesky parenting issues that can wear a mom down. We have our own race to run and it’s an honor to carry her.

Husbands, be there for your wife. Listen. Care. And if need be, carry her.

And, wives, don’t try to do it all by yourself. Lean on your husband. Let him help you. God will give him the strength. We need to be there for each other.

Husbands, do you “carry” your wife well? What is one area of life right now where you need to be doing a better job of bearing her load?

Pray that you will learn appropriate dependence on each other.

Loving your man

We all are guilty of sometimes not showing our man that we love him enough. Here are some great tips to start with that I found.

Loving Your Man
by Barbara Rainey

The wise woman builds her house, but the foolish tears it down with her own hands.
Proverbs 14:1

I often give three pieces of advice to young women before their wedding day. But because these remain just as important as we go through marriage and because they are fashioned by the Scriptures and proven by experience, I share them with you today–at whatever stage you find yourself in marriage:

  1. Believe in your husband. This is the most valuable gift Dennis says I’ve given him. You know your husband better than anyone. To see his faults and weaknesses and yet to believe in your husband’s God-given potential as a man and his leadership of your home does more than you can imagine for his spiritual growth.
  2. Be willing to confront your husband in love. Too many wives mistakenly believe they are following the biblical pattern of submission by ignoring or denying deficits in their husband’s life. But being submissive does not mean being silent. It simply means being wise and loving in how you approach him, treating him with kindness and respect. Say to your husband, “Could I talk to you about something?” Asking permission to broach a difficult subject may make it easier to get your message across. He is far less threatened and insecure this way.
  3. Pursue intimacy with him on every level. Most men consider physical intimacy the most important part of marriage. I’ve come to learn that it is central to my husband’s manhood. It’s the way God made him, and it is good. So rather than resenting it, learn to appreciate this aspect of your marriage as God’s design. And be willing to learn and grow, becoming God’s woman for your man. It’s not always easy, but with God, nothing is impossible.

Both of you should answer this one: Which one of these principles is most in need of your attention right now? Wives, what can you do to begin practicing love for your husbands in this area?

Wives, thank the Lord for your man. And husbands, thank the Lord for your woman. Hold each other’s hand and specifically thank God for things about one another.

P.S. I got a tip in a group to try K.Y. Brand Yours and Mines. It’s supposed to be really good. No need to be ashamed when you are married sex is an important part of that marriage and you should always do things to spice it up a bit.

Taking this for granted

Things I Take for Granted

By Dave Boehi

The remnants of Hurricane Ike raced through Arkansas last Saturday night, blowing down trees and leaving about 180,000 homes without electric power. It took several days for electricity to be restored to our home, and life seemed so—different.

When you lose electricity, you quickly realize how much you normally take it for granted. All your routines are disrupted when the power is cut off: Walking through your home feels like driving at night in a strange city … You lie in bed perspiring at night because the overhead fan isn’t working … You move chairs or couches closer to a window so that you can read by daylight … You feel strangely disconnected without the ability to turn on a computer and check the Internet … Bathrooms turn as dark as a cave when you close the door … You find yourself wishing and praying for that magical moment when the lights suddenly come on again.

I’ve been thinking a lot these days about taking things for granted. I hardly think about stoplights, for example. Think about how dangerous it would be to drive without them. How about window screens that keep bugs out of the house? Fresh bananas available year-round at the store? Telephones and televisions?

I know I take computers for granted when I fall into a snit because my laptop takes “too long” to boot up. I used to take low gas prices for granted, but no more … those days are becoming a distant memory.

Of course, there are many things I’ve always appreciated. For example:

  • Snow.
  • A painting by Claude Monet.
  • A happy and loyal dog greeting me at the door each night.
  • A crisp, sunny day in the fall.
  • A beach.
  • Vacations.
  • A perfectly-cooked filet mignon.
  • Chocolate chip cookies, fresh out of the oven.

I wish I could put my wife on this last list, but there have been many times when I’ve taken her for granted. I can go days without even noticing all she does to build our relationship and keep our home functioning. When was the last time I thanked her just for doing the laundry, and for folding all those clothes?

As I think of Merry today, I keep focusing on the word “grace.” I don’t know if I’ve ever told her this, but God consistently uses her to show His grace to me and to others. I think of the fourth chapter of Ephesians, which tells us, “Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good for edification according to the need of the moment, so that it may give grace to those who hear … Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you” (v. 29, 32).

That’s my wife. She’s not perfect, but usually the words that come from her mouth are wholesome and full of grace. They remind me that I am loved unconditionally—by God and by her—despite my flaws and my sin. Her words assure me that she is fully committed to me, that she will never leave me.

And those are things I should never take for granted.

© Copyright 2008 by FamilyLife. All rights reserved.

Palin as President

I was on Cafemom today and ran across this poll and knew I had to share it here. What do you think. Here is the question and how some of the moms there responded. The first post was mines.

Is anyone else afraid for this country if something were to happen to Mccain and Sarah Palin were to be the President?

She is not ready to be the president of this country and people fail to look at that. I’m actually afraid for the future of this country.

My answer….

I would wonder what will happen because if for some reason he were to die she would become the next President, and tikigoffess, Obama was never Muslim he was born in Hawaii he is an american. In order to run for the office of the president you have to be a natural born american citizen. He was mainly raised by his white mother and PI step father. His father who is African left he mother when he was young. I personally would of liked for Hilary to get in but since she is not I think that Obama will be just as good but I just get worried about this old man and this woman from Alaska to run the country. He could have picked someone better if you asked me. It was a political power play because he feels like the country would vote for the woman before the black man and he may be right but he still fumbled with that pick in my opinion.

Some of the other moms posts.

You think it’s better to have a former Muslim run the country? Like the old adage goes, “You can take the boy out of the city, but you can’t take the city out of the boy!”

She will not be the President. She would be the Vice President. And I disagree with you. I think they would be great leaders for this country. You say she is not ready but Barack Obama is the real inexperienced one. I personally would have voted for Hillary Clinton, but unfortunately she didn’t make the ticket. If I decide to vote, I will vote McCain.

I disagree with raenad…in the event that John McCain did pass, she would be a good leader. And I know that Hillary has way more experience, that is why I voted for her in the primaries, but my vote didn’t count. I’m in Florida. And I don’t believe that Hillary REALLY backs Obama, she backs her party (democrats.) And frankly, I do not believe that Obama is the best representative for that party. I will not be so much as voting FOR McCain but as I will be voting AGAINST Obama.

I dont think George Bush has done a terrible job. I like him. The only thing I disagreed with in his administration was invading Iraq. He should have gone after bin Laden, not Saddam. I don’t disagree with the war, though, because the President, ANY President, takes on the responisiblity to protect our country. And as for the troops…people say all the time that too many people have died in the war but when our soldiers DECIDED to join the military, they knew there were risks, because we ARE at WAR. And I appreciate the soldiers who risk their lives and gave their lives for MY freedom. GOD BLESS THE USA…

Nope, I’m afraid for our country if Obama is voted into office. a man that doesn’t believe in the pledge of allegiance and removes the US flag from his plane should never be in charge of this country!

I think Palin is a quack!! I feel like the only reason McCain chose her as his running mate was to try to “unite” the women. Maybe he figured he would control the womens vote?!? I think she is a nut… for example, her interview with Charlie Gibson- she didnt even know the answers to half the questions!!! And did any of you hear the “rumor” that in Alaska she wanted rape victims to pay for their own rape tests? (I dont know how accurate that is- correct me if any of you know the truth on that one!) It just is appalling that all of a sudden its not Obama and McCain… its Obama and Palin… they are the “real” candidates. McCain isnt really even in the picture anymore…

OH, and another thing… I think a persons character is extremely important! And I just thought it was so classy that when Palins daughter was discovered to be preggers and all the media started bashing Palin, that Obama came out and discouraged that. He said it was not okay for the media to drag families through the mud… Families dont make the office, the candidates do. I thought that was very chivalrous. It made me sick that the following week, Palin did nothing but crack ridiculous jokes about Obama during the Republican National Convention. She is trashy…. I am glad Obama has been the bigger person

For all of you that say that you would have voted for Hillary how the hell do you reconcile voting for McCain when he is the polar opposite of Hillary and so is Palin. Hillary believes in sex education and is pro choice. Neither McCain nor Palin is. Hillary is for UHC, McCain nor Palin is. It seems to me a lot of you are really bitter and just looking for an excuse to not vote for Obama. His and HRC’s platforms were almost identical. Get over the fact that she lost and vote for what’s right. Palin is inexperienced. McCain is only trying to get the presidency for status not because he truly cares about this country. Just this week it was shown that he was trying to do something potentially illegal to keep people from voting. You have to open your eyes to who you are trying to vote for and not vote for gender or race.

marmystr how much do you really know about McCain and where he stands on the issues. I mean outside of his horrible character(cheating on then leaving the wife who stood by him while he was a POW because she had been disfigured in a car accident) he’s only in this race for status. Dad and grandpa were both admirals. Since he graduated in the BOTTOM 5% of his class and it was obvious he would never be an admiral he turned to politics. He’s a joke

I see some people did not understand the question. Yes if something were to happen to MC Cain, Sarah Palin would be president! If you don’t know this, then it does not say alot to me for your common sense. It would be so scary if that were to happen. She is completely crazy. She was talking like she wanted to start a war with Russia. She scares the hell out of me. OH please God let Obama win. If he does not win, this country is going to only go through worse times.

hmmmm could it be her secretive nature. I swear this family is more secretive that Masons. No one knew she was pregnant, Todd won’t answer his subpoena, she won’t turn over her taxes. Damn why are they hiding so much

It’s interesting that people are harping on Palin … If you can’t win the McCain-Obama debate, just pit Palin against Obama! Sarah Palin is “real” and has exec experience. She’ll be a great leader surrounded by a solid team in Washington. Look at history, and there are “unheard of” VPs who later became outstanding Presidents. And no doubt, we’ll see Hilary again …. maybe in a few years, with a more experienced Obama as her VP! 😉 Too bad he didn’t choose her as a running mate. Yeah, yeah, yeah … I’ve heard the “foreign policy” Biden retort … but I’m still left wondering. Has Obama given anyone a straight answer? I’m voting McCain and Palin, but will support whoever is elected our next President … God Bless the USA. And kudos to all moms for presenting their views and exercising our hard-earned right to vote!

I think she is the best thing since dark chocolate! I can’t wait to here “Madam Vice-President”, and 4 years later, “Madam President”, and I don’t mean Hillary!

Palin is a right wing nut job pure and simple. Bush in lipstick. An ignorant redneck from top to bottom, along with her numerous kids, Trinket, Twig, Puck, Tent, and Budweiser, or something like that.

There were so much more posts but you get the drift. If you want to check it out yourself visit the link.


This I got about faith and we always hear about Faith the size of a mustard seed but I felt this was powerful and had to share.

Sometimes suffering can go on for so long and run so deep, that faith begins to falter. We can be desperate for God’s presence, but in our confusion and fatigue, we don’t know how to find him. We long to hear a word from him, but we’re surrounded by chaos and there’s no quiet place to retreat and listen for his voice. That’s when some of us wear out, give out and give up. We decide, in our despair and anguish, that either God doesn’t care or he isn’t even there at all. Sadly that’s what I decided.” ~ Excerpt from the book

If you or someone close to you is experiencing one of life’s many “lifequakes” …from job loss to illness to divorce to the death of a loved one, Mustard Seeds by Lynn Coulter can provide the balm for the soul and a plan to restore faith during troubling times.

Mustard Seeds features 15 heart-warming and soul-bearing essays about Lynn’s struggles through the death of her parents, the financial nightmare of her husband losing his job and enduring a fall which shattered her shoulder.

“The Scriptures tell us that a tiny mustard seed can grow into a plant strong and sturdy enough to shelter God’s weakest creatures. My prayer is that my faith and yours, will grow strong enough to shelter our lives.”

Visit Lynn’s website at to hear from Lynn, download a sample chapter, view discussion questions for small group study and register to win one of Lynn’s nature calendars filled with Scripture, excerpts from the book and her Seeds of Faith found at the end of each chapter.

Praise for Mustard Seeds

“Readers will find strength from Coulter’s story and solace in God’s promises regarding faith and grace.”
~ Publisher’s Weekly

“Reading Mustard Seeds feels like time spent conversing with a dear old friend over a cup of coffee. Lynn’s honest story of how she renewed her faith in Jesus will be a blessing and a source of encouragement to her man new “friends” who’ll read this book.”
~ Mickey McLean, Web Managing Editor WORLD Magazine

“This brave and lovely book will raise many downhearted spirits. Sensitive and thoughtful, it is filled with new beginnings, hope and the wonder and beauty of the search for God.”
~ Amy Blackmarr, Author Going to Ground: Simple Life on a Georgia Pond.


Moments with you

I had to share this because it’s a huge issue with me right now. I have two wonderful children and since I am a SAHM I am always with them, day and night. Problem is I am so tired that when my hubby comes home I just don’t have time for him and at night I just want to catch some sleep while my 3 month old son is sleeping because he is nursing so when he is up so am I. I know I need to fix this and I plan to work on it.

September 18

Little Interruptions
by Barbara Rainey

Make my joy complete by being of the same mind, maintaining the same love, united in spirit, intent on one purpose.
Philippians 2:2

As moms, we get to deal with such exciting things as spit up, poopy pull-ups, and frogs and lizards escaping in the house. So how do you balance all of that with the desire to be an attractive, romantic, interesting wife?

One key is to remember that your children are third on your list of priorities. They cannot be more important to you than their father and certainly not more important than your heavenly Father.

A wise woman said to me years ago, “Honey, one child will take all your time, two children will take all your time and so will three. It doesn’t matter how many children you have; they will take all your time.” And she’s right . . . if you let them. It’s up to you whether or not you save at least some of your energy, time and attention for your husband.

When you pay attention to your husband, children begin to see that their needs and desires don’t have to be met immediately. They learn patience when they have to wait for you to finish your tasks, your conversation . . . or your kiss! A healthy marriage creates security in their hearts and minds. Plus they can learn responsibility and greater independence when you and your husband leave them (well supervised, of course) to go on a date or a weekend away. They need an occasional break from you, just like you do from them!

Yes, children are often little interruptions, but keeping your husband a higher priority is the first step in balancing the roles of wife and mother.

Perhaps this sounds very freeing for you. Or perhaps it sounds selfish and unkind. Talk about how you feel about putting limits on the time you spend with your children so that you can spend time with each other. Discuss a regular time each week when you can have a date night together.

Ask God for the wisdom to set aside time for one another to invest in your marriage relationship.